Gruß von Krampus!

It’s that special time of year again… Krampusnacht!

Who?

Yes, it’s that special time of year. No, not Christmas. I mean December 5, Krampusnacht!

One of the nicer folk-myths around European Christianity is a visit from the rather gentle St Nicholas, encouraging goodness in children. Of course this is thoroughly corrupted with greed for presents, but at least the seed was one of kindness.

A rather bizarre turn is that we just can’t seem to leave a good thing alone, but must always go full-on Manichean by introducing a dark counterpart. Like the Babylonian exile exposed Jews to Zoroastrianism which raised the profile of the Satan ^[1], we seem fascinated with good/evil counterparts instead of just concerning ourselves with good.

And so it is, even with the gentle St Nicholas and his cartoonish successor Santa Claus. In Alpine folklore, he is accompanied by (not “opposed by”; they always come together) a figure called Krampus. ^[2] St Nicholas blesses the good children, and Krampus… well, he has business with the bad children:

• He’s always described as dark and hairy, with the horns of a goat and a long pointed tongue. (Sometimes ridiculously long, as in he can pick up children with his tongue.)
• He carries chains and manacles, either to represent the binding of the Devil or with which to bind bad children.
• One foot is a cloven hoof, while the other is mysteriously not.
• He carries birch rods with which to whip moderately bad children.
• He also has a basket or a bag, for children who are more spectacularly talented at being bad. He’s said to stuff them in the basket, kidnapping them either to be drowned, or eaten, or taken to Hell. (Or, in some versions to Spain. No idea why Hell and Spain should be so linked? I also wonder if the American phrase “going to hell in a handbasket” is related to Krampus and his basket?)

Thus the traditions of the more remote Alpine places, where conformity with suspicions by the distant medieval church could be regarded as rather more optional. Today, it’s supposed to be a fun thing to do with kids, complete with parades.

People dress up as Krampus and scare children, in what I’m sure the children think is a totally fun prank. Occasionally after attempting to birch a child, parents feel inspired to punch out a Krampus cosplayer, which I’m sure is also a totally fun trip to a local hospital.

Krampusnacht, or Krampus Night, is December 5th. St Nicholas and Krampus visit houses with children for gentle congratulations & blessings from St Nicholas… or rather more boisterous moral instruction from Krampus.

Here at Château Weekend, we’re happy to see that all of you have survived Krampusnacht without deportation to Spain (or even warmer places).

The Weekend Conclusion

Speaking of deportation, perhaps the esteemed Mr. Krampus could come evaluate Mr. Trump for suitability to be put in his basket?

I mean, they’re both all about deportation, and as long as we’re fantasizing…

Might be a problem getting Spain to take Trump, though. The other destination would probably be more appropriate for Trump, anyway.

(Ceterum censeo, Trump incarcerandam esse.)

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Notes & References

1: J Duchesne-Guillemin, “Ahriman”, Encyclopædia Iranica, 1984-Dec-15; downloaded 2024-Dec-05. ↩

2: Wikipedia Editors, “Krampus”, Wikipedia, downloaded 2024-Dec-06. ↩